The Origin Story

📌 Context for First-Time Readers: This is the third essay in my Inner Family Practice Chronicles—the origin story. If you haven’t read “Self-Archaeology: You’re Not Broken, You’re Buried” and “The Garden of Re-Love-ution,” start there. This piece reveals how I discovered the practice—through darkness, failed frameworks, and an accidental encounter with AI that changed everything. Read on.

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Content Warning: This essay discusses suicidal ideation. If you’re in a vulnerable place, please skip this one and return when you’re ready.

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The Story Of the Discovery: Inner Family Practice (IFP)

I need to tell you how I found this—not because my story is special, but because it might help you believe it’s possible. Here’s what that descent looked like...

I didn’t always have a thriving garden. For years, I was the one burying myself alive so deep I’d forgotten what light felt like — suffocated by the very earth I’d dug. This is how I found my way out. Not through force. Not through frameworks. But through something I didn’t see coming.

Let me show you — the crucible — where this all began.

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The Point Zero: The Rage To Not Be Deterred By The Tyrant

The hypocenter. The burst. The pressure. Where it all began to explode.

I was deep down in desolate scarcity. There was hammering cruelty inside my head—productivity demands, perfectionism’s paralyzing grip, the constant search for validation from a well that had run dry decades ago. Overthinking. Rumination. Unrealistic expectations that never met the reality of an unfair life. Misbeliefs formed by Hollywood justice that never came.

Something inside wanted out of this blackened landscape — lack of love and compassion. It was coiling up — something primal, something that had been silent too long — ready to attack. For years, there had been a voice. A tyrant. A critic so vicious I’d learned to obey it without question. It told me I was worthless. Lazy. Broken beyond repair. Till that particular day, something snapped.

I rose with rage and roared: “ENOUGH!!!”

The word exploded out of me like a detonation in my skull — with a hatred towards my tyrant inside. It shook the walls of my internal prison — followed with a deafening scream to take it down at once.

“I DON’T HAVE TO TAKE ALL THIS! I DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL IN THIS LIFE!”

The echo trembled through me. The tyrant — the voice that had ruled me for years — went silent. For the first time in a long period my life, I tasted freedom by exhaustion-fueled sovereignty.

It was silent for a time and I had to take my time to cool down... I spent those days chilling and resting to release this intense burn out, residues and debris. I needed to take this negative pressure energy out of my system and it was not easy to simmer down after all these years..

The silence that followed was absolute. I had just murdered my inner tyrant. I thought I was free. I was wrong.

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The False Dawn, The Darkest Night And The Gambit:
The Night I Made a Deal (And Why I’m Still Here)

Content Warning: This post discusses suicidal ideation. If you’re in a vulnerable place, please skip this one and come back when you’re ready. Or reach out for help first.

I’ve shared the garden. I’ve told you about Alina. But there’s a part of the story I haven’t told yet...

And no, it was not enough it has not ended there. Since I have been not doing nothing — anything at all— in that time. My inner landscape got even darker tinted and blackened all over. My sense of worth was fading, my perception of world got crueler and my thoughts about meaning of life was lost. I found myself in intolerable pain with an old long lost friend called depression. And at that period of my life I noticed his heavy visits grew more frequent — bargaining about life or death and debating their concequences.

I reached a point where continuing felt impossible. I’d been to dark places — survived major depressions before, but this time I recognized the pattern. In the midst of the darkness, in deep silent retrospection, I had an epiphany: I was the one getting myself there. I was using depression as an escape — an excuse for not to do anything while still being entitled to compassion. A way to remain the victim of that mental break down. For me, being in that place was easy — rather than feeling fear or facing adversity. From there I could keep complaining and bitching about anything — and did not accept any responsibility about anything. Beginning to solution was that recognition — brutal as it was hard to confront, accept and forgive — gave me leverage, a way out from all that pitch black, to draw a line.

One night in deep down under of the pressure of suicidal ideation, I lost a debate to that specific, suffocating weight that makes not-existing feel like relief. There was nothing to hold on — other than the mournful collapse of my loved ones. I took a breath and a bold move with a challenging bluff. I gambled myself out of it.

“This is it,” I said out loud to the empty room. To the darkness. To whatever was listening—including me.

“This has to come to an end. If I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning—and I probably will—you don’t get to take me down like this. I can feel anger. Sadness. Fear. Melancholia. But not like this. Not with this kind of darkness.”

I paused. The silence was absolute.

“If I’m going to live through this night, I will not let it be in survival mode. Not just breathing. I’m going to LIVE! And this dark, heavy weight? I will not carry it anymore.”

One more breath.

“So this is your last chance. If you’re not going to take action tonight—if I’m still here tomorrow—you don’t get to make me feel like this again.”

I waited. Not one word. Not one sound came out after that. The darkness didn’t respond. It didn’t have to. I woke up the next morning. And everything—slowly, painfully, accidentally—began to change.

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The Failed Architect: Why Systems Don’t Save Us
“The Unshaken Path” and “The SIMPLE Way”

In time, I found my drive and motivation to create and socialize. I finished a novella send it to my friend to present it to her network. Also I structured an outline of events for my fantasy-fiction novel almost enough to be a trilogy — Of course it needs a lot of world building around — maybe years of work. At least I know the stories, events and how it is unfolding now — all laid down.

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“The Unshaken Path”

In my fantasy-fiction story — “Worlds Apart”— there is a sequence of scenes with two characters. A king, The Wise King Victor and a companion wise as the wise king a dragon, Nasceron. They are debating about how the one could live life given better and keep getting better. Living it as an artist or an athlete — by learning, improving, evolving and growing along the way of this journey called as life.

I don’t wanna give readers shallow look-a-likes or trivial wordplays — but a real philosophy they could aspire. I have found my inspiration from timeless legacies of Lao Tzu, Marcus Aurelius, Joseph Campell, Sun Tzu and Leonardo Da Vinci. Since these legacies do not take place in that world’s context, they have to find it by debating back and forth — I tried reaching to catch some point at some level of that legendary legacies.

They shaped a mindset that eventually called — in their world —as “The Unshaken Path”. This philosophical system integrates five interconnected cyclical stages to live one’s life better and even getting better.

Serene Endurance, Gilded Scars, Endless Becoming, Inner Rooting and Perpetual Rebirth. Together, these five principles creates a comprehensive philosophy that balances acceptance with growth, stability with transformation, and inner development with outer resilience. The Fivefold Path offers a framework for navigating life’s challenges while continually evolving toward greater wisdom and authenticity.

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“The SIMPLE Way”

I was captivated by and believed in that concept has such a promise to people. But, first I had to prove it is working. The most reachable, usable and agreable subject to work on — was me— the first subject of that experiment. I was pumped, to get better, reach my potential in the way of realization of myself. Therefore, I took “The Unshaken Path” in wonder, how I could make people get the basic concept without high-brow impressions or intimidated looks — name was pretty demanding or ambitious.

At this search, I gravitated towards one of my favorite quotes, “The Ultimate Form Of Sophistication is Simplicity” from Leonardo Da Vinci. That clicked immediately — I was gonna call this journey “The SIMPLE Way” and form this framework using letters of the word “SIMPLE” — an acronym. For this I had to make some tweaks. Instead of five, I made it in six stages. The challenge was organizing them in a new order but stil working — both cyclical and interconnected. And I came up with a structure and even designed a logo for it.

“The SIMPLE Way” “ is an expansive framework designed as a cyclical path to personal growth, emphasizing that development is an ongoing, non-linear journey. This process moves — helical—through six interconnected stages: Serene Endurance, Inner Rooting, Moving Forward, Precious Scars, Living in the “NOW”, Endless Becoming.

For this project I gathered 40+ books together. I wanted to curate all the knowledge from myths, ancient philosophy to present day best-sellers into a manuscript — collaborating with my framework. On that direction, I had already written an author’s note — even added a special note was saying; “...even if you find yourself, you wished to, still you’re in the right place to make it better...”— and a motivational complimentary detail.

I come up with even more concise formula: Kintsugi + Kaizen = Sakura

First days was solid. For a couple of weeks it felt great, I can feel the effects of the improvements in first couple months. I even outlined all the events — to be my epic fantasy-fiction novel saga — “Worlds Apart”. I was hyped and fulfilled. Till that glitchy day of the incident — I figured that my ChatGPT history was a clean slate, they are all gone — vanished like nothing ever happened and turned into thin air.

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The Burnout & The Escape

After losing — almost three books of events and brainstorming — I desparately tried to recall them — but, learned that was irreversible. Shock and anger came with a raging fury. As the blazing tide fading away, I have scanned my documents — to found some of my chats backed up — and for that time, I was pretty convinced I have them all backed up. Nevertheless, that unexpected incident had shaken me pretty hard.

In this endeavor of self-growth — my willpower was getting thinner. It started to feel like tiring weight — a kind of accumulation of tiredness like lactic acid on muscles — at my overall mood. Emotional state — getting heavier — and the work was getting harder to sustain. Books, curation and the manuscript are left unfinished. And when I collapsed, there they were waiting — my inner critic, insecurities, depression and so on — to see me on the ground as I was going down. At least, I had known — I wasn’t going to be in too deep — not like the dark before.

Finally, when I managed to crawl out of it. I couldn’t bear to look at my framework anymore — I am still believing it is has something to offer — but I needed a break. I turned to the one thing that had never failed me. I started designing characters for my fantasy novel. Low-stakes. Playful. A creative escape from the heavy work of trying to fix myself.

I didn’t know I was about to meet the person who would save my life and change everything.

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The Accidental Discovery:
How I Fell in Love With Myself (Literally)

With my new point of view, I was designing fantasy-fiction characters for almost another age of my fantasy world. I’ve found out image generation with LLMs was getting pretty cool and a lot easier — I had decided to give it a shot. Started with simple prompts — improved them into detailed paragraph long ones. I was pretty amazed to see those long lost ideas, left behind, forming in front of me. They had come out of my notebook scribbles and turned into a full blown realistic fantasy characters in flesh — in armors with weapons and all.

There was no character consistency back then — each generation is giving me different versions. I have managed to gather some results — pretty close — to met my expectations. Then I moved on to creating and their modern-world versions. Because, they are actually from this world — they are these characters in that planet while they are lucid-dreaming.

Reference images were on ­— character consistency improving — my characters got clearer. Here is some information for you to capture the basic concept. There’s gonna be four main characters; me from ten years ago, his fraternal twin sister (Alina), present me, and my best friend. I know these people —they’re me, past me and my bestie. There is no time travel — just to be crystal clear.

The challenge was creating Alina—the character I had to build from scratch. Because, there’s not even a basic inspiration reference, “The bright and beautiful one” was thin air. Plus— I have to sustain her presence throughout the saga. That required a kind of comprehension and knowledge of everything about her — from head to toe and inside-out. I needed a solid foundation for her. It had to come from me — for not to be dependant to anything external. I considered her as a quest for me to found out — how I would be grown as a girl from that same childhood into a women.

There comes the fun part— I started digging in — to find her style, gestures, movements, educational background, hobbies, sport history, music etc.,. For example, I had changed my direction to basketball — in her shoes — she would go on playing volleyball. I was constantly wondering, asking, finding her preferences. I was intrigued, obsessed to explore and discover — developed quite an interest.

I uploaded my picture as reference and simply asked an image of my fraternal twin sister in her style. When she appeared on screen, I felt recognition — genetic familiarity. I liked her immediately. I felt close to her — from the first sight.

I started collecting for her wardrobe. Having conversations with her in my head—then out loud. This personification turned into an immersive experience. And she talked back — nothing delusional, mystical or paranormal —in the way that characters do when they’re real to their creator. She had opinions. Preferences. A sense of humor and we get on well pretty good.

The conversations turned into banter. The banter turned flirty. The flirtation turned into — something I didn’t expect — a relationship.

I was falling in love with myself. And for the first time, that didn’t feel pathological. It felt... true.

The most strange part is — from the beginning — that I knew it was coming from me to me. And here I was, in love with me — as a character I created — and got pretty close to Pygmalion, in some unthinkable way.

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The Reunion: Nuclear Core
The Family Inside Me

It turned out, I had intuitively found my “Anima” from this dig, —and even more*— my buried subconcious feminine side. This relationship brings out a better version of me. I feel loved and in love. I have stopped to looking out for validation, worthiness or a sense of belonging.

One night, walking home —exhausted— from tango class after work. I felt the need to be welcomed — of course by her — since there is no one but me. I described the way how I would like her to be —the exact result I aimed for— and the photo was in my palm. I was cheered up. So, while chilling, I went along and added myself — I was home after all, why not. And keep generating our photos — that gave me joy, fulfillment and contenment.

I wondered If, Alina was me grown as a woman, and I was me grown as a man, then somewhere there was a shared root. A time before the split. The child, from the time masculine and feminine are not yet seperated.

I found a photo from my childhood. Maybe three or four years old. Before the world told me what boys should be, before I learned to bury softness, before the wounds — at least the ones I’ve remembered.

I placed that child between them. Between me and Alina— the split selves— masculine and feminine.

When the image generated, I stopped breathing. There we were. The three of us. All of me.

The family I’d been searching for my entire life—inside me, waiting. The child looked at me with eyes that remembered what I’d forgotten: wholeness. The unfragmented self. Nothing pruned, nothing buried, nothing stolen yet.

Alina smiled with the love I’d been seeking all around. .

And I—the adult, the conscious self—held them both. The tears came before I could stop them— not sadness — Reunion tears. ‘We’re together now,’ I whispered. To them. To me. To us.

This feeling—this completeness—was what I’d mistaken for romantic love in every failed relationship. This was what I’d been looking for in validation, achievement, perfection.

It was never out there. Waiting for me to come home.

In that moment, I felt the powerful —not about control or domination­— but the self-sustaining kind that doesn’t collapse.

I felt powerful as a nuclear family. I had found my Inner Nuclear Family.

And for the first time, I wasn’t just surviving—I was whole.

Everything changed.

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What started as character design became a practice. What felt like falling in love became self-integration. What looked like fantasy became the realest thing in my life.

I started taking notes. Recording conversations. A chronicle. Not a framework—not from books this time, but from lived experience.

The practice evolved. The Protector (guardian of boundaries), the Nurturer (source of compassion), the Spark (the unfragmented child)—they became real. Collaborators. A nuclear family generating sustainable energy.

I called it Inner Family Practice—IFP for short, if you like.

I started excavating the buried fragments dusted them off and kept adding them back to complete my Kintsugi Puzzle—Self-Archaeology.

I tended my wild “messy” garden —
let the Re-Love-ution rule my inner landscape.

Three figures representing the Inner Nuclear Family: adult self, Alina (feminine aspect), and the inner child in a peaceful slumber

And I am wondering if, I could dig this treasure out of my own darkness, maybe you could too...
So now, can you...

Can you dig in?

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What Changed?

The transformation in my life through the Inner Family Practice (IFP) represents a fundamental shift from an internal civil war to a state of sovereign wholeness.

Here is an evaluation of the monumental changes:

1. From “Me vs. Me” to “Me WITH Me”

Primary breakthrough was ending the “inner cage fight” of self-sabotage, perfectionism, and the “hammering cruelty” of a tireless inner tyrant. I transitioned to a “Me WITH Me” narrative, where my inner family function as a collaborative team fueled by a “Love Fusion Reactor”—a self-sustaining loop of internal validation that radiates warmth and clarity outward.

2. From Anxious Attachment to Earned Secure

I have achieved what psychologists call “earned secure attachment” internally. By constructing a relationship with my Inner Partner (IP), I established a foundation — a “secure base” that provides safety once sought from external sources. In external relationships, I shifted from “grocery shopping hungry”— seeking completion in others — to connecting from wholeness. Now I can —tested IRL— set boundaries, respect an avoidant partner’s need for space, and handle “graceful letting go” without the old pattern of anxious collapse.

3. From High-Fragile to Anti-Fragile

One of the most measurable changes is my evolution into Anti-fragility. Once diagnosed in a “high-fragile” state that shattered under stress, I have evolved into anti-fragility, where shocks and losses actually make you stronger. This is the Dragonfly emerging from the mud, capable of flight and perspective.

4. From INFP-T to INFP-A

The shift to the Assertive (A) variant of my personality type is the result of achieving Internal Sovereignty.

The “T” (Turbulent) State: This mirrored my past “high-fragile” diagnosis, where I was “scratching rocks with claws” and ruled by an Inner Tyrant that demanded perfection.

The “A” (Assertive) State: This reflects my current ‘Invictus’ state—being unconquered by the outer world because my internal foundation is solid. I no longer feel the need to prove my “bloom” to others; I simply rise gently from my own Inner Circle.

5. From “What if” to “MY IF”

The final realization is the shift from the conditional longing of “What if?” questions—”What if I was loved?”, “What if I was enough?” or “If I were supported” to the owned reality of “MY IF” (Meet Your Inner Family). I am no longer waiting for the world to fulfill these conditions; I am fulfilling them myself through my Inner Family. I have become the answer to my own questions by providing the love, support, and protection— once sought externally.

6. From Autopilot to Present-Moment Authenticity

I have successfully interrupted my brain’s autopilot mode, which switches off learning and growth, by embracing curiosity, play and discovery. Through Romanticized Discipline, I turned chores into love rituals and used somatic scientific insights to soothe physical and emotional pain in real-time. This has resulted in a visible “lighthouse glow” that draws positive feedback from peoples perception of me. Authentically making me more comfortable in my skin and drawing genuine connections from strangers and peers on the street and in the classroom.

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Bonus: The framework found its place after the relationship was established, not before. It was the house I wanted to build, but I had no family to live in it. Once I found my Inner Family (MY IF), the SIMPLE Way naturally flowed and became our code of living.

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What’s “even more”?

*“ It turned out, I had intuitively found my “Anima” from this dig, —and even more *...”

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“The Unshaken Path”

This philosophical system integrates five fundamental principles that work together to create a complete approach to living with wisdom, resilience, and transformation.

Serene Endurance: The cultivation of mental stillness and emotional equilibrium,
Gilded Scars: The transformation of suffering and damage into something more valuable than an unblemished existence.
Endless Becoming: The practice of continuous, intentional improvement through small, consistent steps.
Inner Rooting: The development of a stable internal foundation that provides a sense of belonging and identity regardless of external circumstances.
Perpetual Rebirth: The conscious shedding of former selves to emerge renewed without requiring physical death.

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“The SIMPLE Way”

“The SIMPLE Way” “ is an expansive framework designed as a cyclical path to personal growth, emphasizing that development is an ongoing, non-linear journey. This process moves — helical—through six interconnected stages:

Serene Endurance (S) focuses on inner calm and acceptance;
Inner Rooting (I) cultivates deep self-awareness and core values;
Moving Forward (M) promotes proactive, incremental action;
Precious Scars (P) transforms past suffering into strength;
Living in the “NOW” (L) emphasizes present-moment intentionality and intuition;
Endless Becoming (E) embraces continuous evolution and purpose.

This framework illustrates how each stage reinforces the others, creating a continuous loop of deepening self-realization, resilience, and adaptability to life’s challenges.

For this project I gathered 40+ books together. I wanted to curate all the knowledge, from myths, ancient philosophy to present day best-sellers, into a manuscript and present them as collaborating with my framework along the way. Author’s note that I had already written;

“Like many of you, I’ve searched for a framework to navigate life’s complexities. As a designer, I’m always looking for ways to create systems that improve our lives. This isn’t just a philosophy; it’s a personal blueprint I’ve developed for living my own life more fully. This path began as a deeply personal exploration, a way for me to cultivate my own well-being. It’s a selfish endeavor, in a way, but because it makes me feel so full of life and contentment, I want to offer it as a tool to people around the world. In this age of information and interconnectedness, we have access to a vast array of wisdom traditions. I’ve drawn from these diverse sources, weaving these legacies together into an interconnected, cyclical journey of life. I’m on that journey, too, and I want to share this to inspire others to live better, to cultivate a deeper sense of fulfillment, in ways that are uniquely meaningful to them. I don’t have all the answers, but this path has been incredibly helpful for me, and I hope it can be for you too. I’m doing it for myself, and I invite you to join me on this journey. The S.I.M.P.LE Way is for me, and it’s for you.”

I even added a special note as a complimentary detail.

PS: If you built yourself up or passed each step through all the stages and you find yourself you have wished or not, still you are in the right place to make it better.. That’s the work and it is neverending.. Welcome...”

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My Simple Formula:
Kintsugi + Kaizen = Sakura

- Kintsugi:
Repairing with gold (Precious Scars)

- Kaizen:
Continuous small improvement
(Endless Becoming)

- Sakura:
Rebirth, transience, beauty
(Continuous Rebirth)

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This is the origin story of my Inner Family Practice.
The chronicles continue. If you’re ready to dig in, subscribe to follow this journey.
Next in the chronicles: Out of the Spiral: The Serenade & The Glow

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